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Who am I?

Just someone who’s spent way too much time explaining my diet to confused waiters and well-meaning relatives.

Here, you’ll find semi-true stories, exaggerated survival guides, and a shared sense of humor about navigating food restrictions. Some names, places, and questionable menu items have been altered—not to protect me, but to protect the people who still think I can “just have a little bit.”

So pull up a chair (but don’t expect much on your plate), and let’s laugh through the absurdity together.

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“Some names, places, and questionable menu items have been altered—not to protect me, but to protect the people who still think I can 'just have a little bit.'”